(Original diary excerpt from 15th October 2015)
My current Netflix obsession is “Orange Is the New Black”. Probably because, after 5 days stuck at home with an ill 4 year old and a ‘refusing to feed’ 5 month old, I am currently living in my own kind of prison and misery loves company.
I understand that feeling of being watched when you take a shower, of sleeping with one eye open, hearing screams in the night, constantly being ordered about, living a life of routine, eating tasteless goo (well tasting it to make sure it’s not too hot for the baby!), not being able to wear make-up and looking like shit. Atleast the inmates at Litchfield get to have sex and eat with 2 hands (ok I should probably reword that sentence in light of it being an all female prison but I’m too tired to press backspace!). They even have an onsite hairdresser – I can barely muster the energy to brush mine!
And so another looong night in the prison of sleep thieves begins! Having just finished my duty of feeding the baby (probably a feed he doesn’t need but if it gets him to sleep quicker I don’t care anymore!) and while he falls asleep to a light show and the tunes of some repetitive nursery rhyme that for whatever reason keeps him calm, I sit typing away and listening to hubby trying to soothe our boy back to sleep. The tummy ache (or ‘tummy egg’ as LJ calls it and the reason I have been stuck inside all week) has reared its ugly head again and we no longer know if it’s a real ache or because the smarty pants has twigged it gets him attention. As a doting mother I should probably go in there but the competitive side of me thinks ‘Haha I already got my one back to sleep!’ Of course this is not the best attitude to adopt. After all this is just a blip in LJ’s sleeping since he’s ill and pretty soon we’ll be back to my boy being the only one waking up – better to play the tag team thing. I should go in. Then again, it has gone awfully quiet. Maybe I’ll just try and get a bit of sleep in myself. After all, a prisoner of these blonde, blue eyed-boys (the kind that steal your breath and make your heart feel like it’s going to explode whilst also driving you to the brink of exhaustion and insanity) needs to be alert in order to survive this life sentence.
Lights out Ladies! The Warden makes the rules, not me!
Sweet Dreams –
Mama Atzi xxx
