“Mission Impossible”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

In a bid to get a bit fitter and healthier and hopefully improve my energy levels and overall positivity and happiness as a result I am challenging myself to the Exhausted Mama’s Mission of daily workouts, staying on top of the house and work and, most pivotal for me, ditching the alcohol for a month!

So far the ideal scenario (ie that I will have a perfectly toned torso and full on energy after one day of not drinking and one 7-minute workout) is not quite matching the reality of the situation (I feel even more exhausted than ever and my mood seems to be going drastically down-hill by the minute – despite the fact I am not even missing my nightly glass of wine to be fair!)

 

 

Just as when I did the Whole 30 I felt it important to post about it. To keep me motivated and to hopefully make a lifetime difference rather than it be just some ‘fad diet’. Part of me feels I should have created a JustGiving page and did this for charity but as this was my New Year Resolution and a genuine bid to improve my own life I decided in the end I needed to prove to myself that I can do this; without an ulterior motive. Even if that motive would have been a good one – and people would have paid good money to see me go a month without wine!

I realise I am not exactly training for a marathon or attempting to change the world but since 1 in 3 apparently “fall off the wagon” during Dry January it seems this challenge is also not so simple and as it is in an attempt to improve my general positivity and happiness, which can only benefit me and my family, I think it is only fair to bare all in my Diary of an Exhausted Mama.

Day 5 so far and whilst I am still not particularly craving any alcohol (though a glass of wine with dinner would have been nice!) I can’t say I am seeing any obvious benefits yet either.

I have been working out every day and trying to stay on target with work – both professionally and within the house. The flat, I will say, is looking good (thanks mostly to my lovely new AEG cordless vacuum) but the body and mind – not so much. I have not felt this tired in ages, my skin feels gross and I feel like I am constantly bloated. Quite frankly I feel like that elephant looks!

The workouts are improving so I hope that means my strength and stamina are headed in the right direction too but as a whole so far my energy levels are not at all better and my mood is definitely not where I want it to be! Still, since it was the festive period and our balcony was filled with alcohol at the beginning of the Christmas holidays and is completely empty now, I guess my body has some sugar depletion to get used to now my favourite form of grape is off the menu.

So, onwards and upwards I go. (I hope!) Women’s Health magazine* assures me that by week 2 and 3 I will “feel the positives of passing on the prosecco”. I better!

You can follow my progress on Facebook and Instagram and help keep me on the right course to a 6 pack of muscles rather than Stiegl! And feel free to join in the #exhaustedmamamission with me.

Sweet dreams –

Mama Atzi x

 

*womenshealthmag.com

“The Silence”

Mama Atzi / / 1 Comment

So firstly apologies for my radio silence over the last months. It has been way longer than I intended.

I have tried to write many blogs since I last posted but the quiet was too much for me at a time when the loss of my Grandad was still very raw and I found myself only able to think of him. I wrote about the 5 stages of grief in my “Sleepless in Schwechat” post but this was the first time I truly felt it for real. And it sucks! I still haven’t really accepted my Grandad has gone. He still pops into my mind constantly. Memories and thoughts that are ignited by the slightest of things – posters for the cuddly vegetables he saved tokens to get us, photos on my walls, crosswords, fisherman as we walk past the river, offers for drinks in the supermarkets, cherry tomatoes and carrots growing in our allotment and a million other seemingly inconsequential things that just remind me of him at unexpected moments.

During the first month after Grandad died Little M was going through a phase of needing me to lie near the cot as he went off to sleep. Lying there in the dark I found the silence deafening and, just as it had been when I tried to write, I found myself just crying into the quiet. I realised I needed to give myself a distraction and since I was not at all happy with my lack of exercise I created the Cotside Challenge Workout!! No app or membership required. Simply lie down on the floor, while your clingy child attempts to go to sleep and let you have some peace for once, and do some Pilates based exercises! 

I was able to work my tummy, my pelvis, my back, arms, legs and thighs. Do some quiet stretches and suddenly I wasn’t only thinking about sad things anymore. I wasn’t getting annoyed with my toddler for not sleeping and the time went so much quicker. I can’t say I saw many physical benefits as a result of my new work out plan – no 6 pack or particularly toned thighs – but it did help while away those quiet moments that were slowly eating me alive.

My toddler was happy because I was quietly breathing next to him and I was happy because my mind was elsewhere and for the first time in forever I didn’t even resent my child for making me lie with him!!

After this I realised I needed to find similar distractions during the day so I must admit that I did throw myself into some new ventures – possibly a few too many now the dust has settled a bit but I also needed a push. Even though it meant I continued to neglect my dear blog.

Not long after this Little M decided he was ok to go off to sleep on his own – score! So my Cotside Challenge dwindled away…for a while anyway! (Don’t worry I still don’t have a good sleeper!!)

So much has happened in the last few months. So much I would have liked to share with you all but couldn’t.

I will always have my moments, a part of me has been changed forever now, but the quiet is easier to deal with and instead of being sad I need to be grateful for the life I have – in part because of my Grandad – and instead of being scared of the feeling that hits me in the silence, embrace it and know it just means that Grandad is still here with me.

So yes lots has happened in the last few months but I’ll save that for the next post…

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x