“Clueless”

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A Monday Mini Moan:

The hardest thing about being an expat (apart from being away from family and friends obviously) is the language. Most days I can get by and thanks to my weekly lessons I feel more confident in speaking what I can. I will always attempt to speak German when I am out and about and have even struck up a conversation with strangers.

But some days that’s not enough.

Today was one of those days.

When you go to a doctor surgery and have to try and explain in a language that is not your own about a prescription you need with someone that speaks a bit of English but not a lot that’s when the language barrier becomes not only frustrating but a little bit dangerous! Suddenly my German lessons feel like a waste of time; everything I thought I knew doesn’t exist and once again I feel useless.

You take for granted the ease of making appointments, going shopping, picking up prescriptions and all those other errands that are boring but in our own country and language completely simple.

Sometimes I feel the same about Motherhood. Whilst most days I feel I understand the needs and wants of my baby sometimes his cries or baby talk completely throw me. When he’s up all night crying and you don’t know why it is definitely frustrating and when in the morning his high temperature and lack of appetite alert you to the fact he was getting sick you feel like your inability to understand him when he needs you most is dangerous. You feel like a useless mother (again!) and guilty because you were annoyed he kept you up all night.

Living in a world where you don’t always understand everything is hard and sometimes it seems like I’m living in two of them.

I guess all I can do is keep striving to learn the languages. Whether I ever master them is another story but in the end all I can do is my best.

Do you ever feel like you don’t understand what’s going on around you?