I can’t believe it’s almost 2 weeks since my dry month ended and I never even posted about it!!
I think because in the end – just like many things (hmmmph Brexit) it was rather anti-climatic and didn’t actually give me what I was looking for. Or so I thought!
I certainly felt the benefits in certain physical ways. Coincidence or not there is no denying my nails are better and my back that used to constantly give me a pain in my spine has barely given me a twinge since I stopped drinking. The fact I have low vitamin D anyway and alcohol can inhibit this shows there is most definitely a link there. I will be watching this closely as I begin to indulge more in alcoholic beverages again.
However, I can not honestly say I feel any more energetic for drinking less and I am most certainly no more ready for action first thing in the mornings as before.
Where the positive improvement has laid though is in my mindset. I have realised throughout this period that actually what my Dad always says is true when it comes to a healthy lifestyle: everything in moderation and that the positivity I have been craving comes not from the giving up of something but more the mindset that it creates.
I am generally feeling more positive and as a result more content and happy but it’s not because of not drinking or doing more work outs; it is because I was motivated to make those changes in the first place and determined to stick to something and see it through – regardless of the outcome.
I was disappointed not to have rock hard abs or sudden unending energy by the end of the month but that outcome in itself has led to me discovering other things about myself – ie I really am never going to be a morning person and that perhaps my tummy muscles did not repair as they should have done after Little M was born and therefore I need to be more careful in how I work to improve them now.
As often is the case it has been a reminder that these things are as much about the journey as the destination. But I also learnt that this was not a single mission but one that I need to keep learning from.
And I think that’s why I haven’t gotten around to actually posting about the end of my #ExhaustedMamaMission because for me it hasn’t actually ended. I have learnt a great deal of things about myself, my attitude and my body during this past month and I plan to keep learning and hopefully improving myself and my life as a result.
When it came to the day I was able to drink again it was strange because I realised I didn’t actually really want a drink.
I had a gin and tonic (because that was the last drink I had before starting this) but the truth is I was lucky enough to be spending the evening having a (very) belated Christmas meal with my lovely colleagues in London and that’s actually all I needed.
It’s been both good and bad to realise my nightly wine drinking had simply become a habit of normalcy – the so called Mummy Wine Culture I didn’t even realise I was part of!
The horrific couple of hangovers I have had since drinking a bit again (and it’s only been a few drinks on weekend ladies nights aswell!) show my poor liver certainly needed the break.
From my side, I feel the occasional drink to relieve a bit of stress or just let yourself unwind a bit is not something to write home about but when it becomes a habit rather than something to actually enjoy then it is a worry. Maybe even a cry for help. Certainly a sign that something else in your life probably needs addressing.
I am going to continue to enjoy my double bubbles (that is my baths with Prosecco) but because I want to not just because and certainly not because I need to.
The best bit about starting to drink again was that it coincided with being in London and having the chance for a well overdue night out with one of my favourite people in this whole world. However, just as with the meal with my girls the night before I realised that it was not the Prosecco that make our time together!
Don’t get me wrong I loved our glass of fizz as we were getting ready but I enjoyed the feeling of being back in our cruise ship days and getting ready for a night onshore all the more!
We totally indulged that night but not in drinks (though drinks were had), in life! In doing what we love – being with our friends, eating great food, seeing a West End show and just talking!!
Life is all about moments. And that night we had some amazing moments! Having a nice drink to go with them was a lovely compliment to a magical evening – not something that was required to ensure we had a good time.
It’s about the quality not the quantity.
Having completed my #ExhaustedMamaMission and feeling that I really had achieved something – even if it wasn’t what I expected – I decided to re-read Marie Kondo’s ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying’. I loved this book the first time round and am still following it within my household but this time I loved it even more. I finished it in less than 2 short plane journeys and found myself crying because once again the points she makes in this book and the feeling I achieved in putting KonMari method into action is exactly how I was feeling after my mission. I had been looking for the positive in life and realised that I have it with me all along. I just have to have the right mindset.
Marie says “I can think of no greater happiness in life than to be surrounded by the things I love. How about you? All you need to do is to get rid of anything that doesn’t touch your heart like this. There is no simpler way to contentment. What else could this be called but the magic of tidying’?”
It is exactly this feeling that can be applied to anything in life – not just physical things in your home but anything that does not, as Marie Kondo says, “spark joy”.
By discarding the habitual drinking I can appreciate my double bubbles even more but more importantly I know, as I always have really, that it is the family get togethers, the ladies nights and the non-stop catch ups with my besties that are the things that really bring the happiness.
My plan now is to listen to all my instincts that have come out in my various New Years resolutions since starting this blog and try harder to follow the lessons I have learnt as a result of putting them into action.
Slow down….failing isn’t failure …..the lows are as important as the highs …..never stop learning…..acceptance is not giving up control …..face your fears….spark joy ….savour the moments ….. surround yourself with what you love …. you do you!
I know I will slip, just as I know there will be nights when I pour a glass of wine I probably do not need or want but that’s all part of the journey in the end anyway!
Thank you all for supporting me through this mini mission. Onwards and upwards as always I hope! 😘
Cheers!
Mama Atzi x
