“Toy Story”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

This post should really be called Why Most Toys are Pointless? But you know trying to keep up with this film and tv theme and all that  (which is starting to get difficult by the way. Who’s great idea was that anyway?!)

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No matter how many lovely toys you buy or borrow or are given. No matter how expensive or well made, why will a baby always go for the one thing you really don’t want them to have? Your iPhone (or quite frankly any device you, or anyone else, may be lucky enough to own), leads, photo frames, the washing basket, their brother’s dinner, the dishwasher and my personal favourite (and most dangerously feared of them all) the television!

You try and pass off an old mobile phone or broken iPod but alas those clever little monkeys know all your tricks and as soon as you turn your back to have a sneaky look on your Facebook page or place a bid on that amazingly priced Bugaboo footmuff on Ebay they are all over you like a rash!

And don’t give into buying that toy they will not let go of all the way through the toy shop when you are out looking for a birthday present because rest assured the minute, no the second, you get home they will have lost all interest and again start screaming because you won’t let them lick the end of your laptop charger! (Incidentally both my boys have done this now – the downside of not having a home office! And after LJ did it I tried it myself to see how bad it was – not a nice experience for the tongue – trust me as a Mama who didn’t learn her lesson keep them well out of reach!)

Then one day you think you have found it. The toy that will give you atleast 20 minutes of uninterrupted peace. THE ONE. Suddenly the hugely overpriced [train] is worth it’s weight in gold. You sit down with a hot coffee thinking finally I have the time to reply to that email and just as you open the laptop you hear it. That quiet but unmistakeable sound of a baby making its way over to you. You pretend your ears are playing tricks on you and proceed to open your inbox when you feel the tugging on your leg. You look down to see that beautiful face smiling up at you. You give them a quick cuddle and take them back to that new train – come on baby it’s made of real wood and painted in non-poisonous paint in colours that are going to turn you into a genius – but alas it’s losing its value by the second. You return to the computer and have barely even sat down before the tugging begins again. A move so stealth James Bond would be proud. Though at this point you fear a life of crime might be more up your child’s street.

You attempt to type one-handed until the whinging drives you insane enough to close your laptop. While looking for something else to amuse your baby, you start to think about who you could give the train away to as a present without them knowing it’s technically second hand, and just as you sit down with your baby they go quiet and start playing with the damn toy.

Once again they have won the battle but atleast you can drink your coffee while you play. You take a sip, it’s gone cold. You drink it anyway and pretend it’s a Frappe.

Sometimes being a Mother is like having a very small, but very loud personal trainer. It’s exhausting and sometimes a little bit tedious. I can barely reply to a text without listening to a soundtrack of the latest whinge and whines. The second I turn my back on the washing I have just hung to dry I find a trail of wet clothes in my wake. My house is full of toys but it is the neat piles of freshly washed clothes that Little M loves to play with so much. No sooner do I fill the dishwasher, spoons and plates are emptied and left on the floor.

So, how the hell did JK Rowling write those books with a baby in the nearby vicinity?? Maybe she really is magical.

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x

Any tips? Leave a comment or join the chat on Facebook. 

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“Year One”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

 

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So my baby boy is about to turn 1! Where did that go?! I’m not going to lie to you and say it has been the best year of my life. Quite frankly it has been exhausting, hard work and at times pretty damn painful. I have most certainly had better times in my life – when I was young and single, doing the job I love and getting paid to see the world for example! But would I do it all again? Of course I would-in a heartbeat. Would I change a thing? Nope. (Well apart from the no sleeping – I would totally change that part!)

Being a Mum is a constant conundrum. A battle of our former (slightly more fabulous) selves and our current (bald patched, no clean clothes, exhausted) selves. We dream for the youthful energy and peaceful times that we took for granted yet imagine if suddenly we found ourselves without our babies and able to once again live a spontaneous and care-free life. Well, that kind of peace is unfathomable. Despite it all, now we have our children we would never go back. We just couldn’t.

As we speak I am watching a film* where a Mum tells her baby-desperate friend ‘“You don’t want to have kids. It’s awful. It ruins you. Do you want to see my Mama vagina? I’ll show you…” But this woman has 4 children. So Motherhood can’t be so bad huh??!

The truth is having a baby is not all rainbows and butterflies.

There are perfect Mums in the world who wax lyrical over every aspect of their perfect baby and maybe they are genuinely telling the truth but for most of us it is not so easy. Still, we are made to feel there is something wrong with us if we aren’t happy all the time.

If we are not glowing immediately after birth (sorry-must be all those hormones, the painful nipples and agonising effort just to pee all on 1 hour of sleep) or in fact for the rest of our child’s lives, then we must be missing some basic kind of Mummy gene. So much so that some Mums feel the need to lie. As you may have realised by now, I am not one of those Mothers.

Having said that, I suppose I too only put the good bits on Facebook – all the bad stuff I save for here! – but that’s because, when all is said and done, the good stuff does outweigh the bad and when my memories from last year pop up on my news feed of course I only want to relive the nice bits. The moments that made me smile. Plus the awful bits are so awful who would have time to grab a camera anyway?!

I think a Dad in the aforementioned film* sums it up best: “Being a parent is awful, awful, awful and then something incredible happens. Then, awful, awful, awful and again something incredible. It’s like this all day, every day but that one magical moment makes it all worthwhile”.

So yes, it has been a rollercoaster of a year. Filled with illnesses, lost friends and family members, very little sleep, bumps and bruises, clingy children, explosive poos, whinging 4 year olds, did I mention the lack of sleep?, tears, tantrums, fussy eating, sore nipples, hair loss, muscle spasms, back pain, sleep deprivation (oh wait, I said that). In short, a year of awful, awful awful but then……

It has also been a year of baby smiles and giggles, fingers grabbed by little fists, rolling over, eyes locking, cuddles for no reason, crawling, sitting, first steps, funny faces, blowing raspberries, walking across a room into your waiting arms, watching something you created growing and learning, revelling in their wonder and excitement, witnessing the most special relationship between 2 brothers blossom and that face.

A year of incredible.

All topped off with that simple word: ‘Mama’.

Like most things in life you have to experience the lows to appreciate the highs. The baby lows are so low you’re practically in Australia but that means you can only savour in the absolute magic of the baby highs.

I think the first year is probably the hardest but it is full of magic too and whilst I am sad that my baby is no longer a baby I am looking forward to following his adventures into Toddlerhood. I know there will be plenty of awful ahead but there will also be a whole load of incredible.

So Happy Birthday Baby M. I promise to give you all you need,  to keep you safe and make sure you never question that you are loved. I wish for you only happiness and to be yourself always. To explore, grow and learn at your own pace. I wouldn’t change a thing……(apart from the sleeping. Please start sleeping. Thanks!)

Sweet Dreams-

Mama Atzi x

 

*Quotes taken from the movie ‘The Back Up Plan’ starring Jennifer Lopez. Written by Kate Angelo.

“Girl, Interrupted”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

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So firstly folks I do apologise for the delay in posting. As you know we recently made another trip home to the UK to see my family. I had hoped this one might be a little more successful than the last but I think it might have been even worse!! Of course it was wonderful catching up with friends and family as always and the trip certainly started well.

The boys were both good as gold on the flight over and the first weekend was spent celebrating Baby M’s Christening which was really lovely.

We did get some lovely days in – visiting friends, play dates, a trip to the beach, the Sealife centre and Monsters Soft play – but the following weekends were spent working for me and were pretty intense with cover teaching and dance school exams in London. Meanwhile both boys seemed to get hit with a tummy bug and Baby M decided this was a good time to get another tooth which is never fun! Sleep wise Baby M napped pretty well and on schedule if not always for really long and was also good going to bed but throughout the night he was pretty atrocious. I guess with hindsight we can put it down to that big top tooth coming through but once again it was not fun to be dealing with him alone. Especially with LJ waking up from bad dreams and also wanting to come into bed with me, something he hasn’t done for a long time.

But that is something I am once again learning about babies and now big brothers. That they just have a sixth sense about things. They know when your mind is on something else (i.e the big dance exam session you have coming up) and they know when something is going on that requires your attention to be more on the baby than the big bro.

The most apt example of this being when we tried to arrange a repeat of the fantastic naming party we had with the girls before Baby M was born (I had obviously forgotten that LJ stayed in Vienna with his Papa and Baby M was not yet a wonderful disruption on our hearts).

It went something like this……

I don’t get much time to myself. To just be me, rather than a Mother or Wife, so when I get the opportunity to spend time with friends, without children, it is special. Just for a little while it is nice, and important, to just to be Katy instead of Mama or Mrs Atzi.

And I feel very lucky to have a wonderful group of friends who I grew up with in one way or another and who are still my friends 30 years later. We have shared school, pantomimes, dance classes, Brownies, swim lessons, Sunday school, trips abroad, caravan holidays, injuries and illnesses, weddings, house warmings, birthdays and babies and every so often when I am back at my Mum’s we try to get together. Either a meal out or at someone’s house.

This particular nights was one of those get togethers. We had planned a Girls Night In at my Mums with food, drinks (a bit of Prosecco) and some games – silly quizzes and the like.

Baby M and LJ had been no bother going to bed for the last week at my Mums or in fact for the last month or longer at home but of course on the one night that we need them to play ball and go to sleep at their normal time it all goes wrong!

First Baby M had a later than usual afternoon nap, despite being exhausted at his usual time he fought it tooth and nail, eventually falling asleep in the car on the way home. Needless to say this meant he wasn’t quite so sleepy in the evening but he was still ready for bed at 7.15pm so all seemed on track still. Then, out of no-where, he pukes up his entire bottle of milk! All over himself and all over me and my nice outfit ready for the evening. Luckily he still was sleepy enough to go off but by now we are 50 minutes behind schedule.

Next comes LJ. My golden boy. He had welcomed all the girls, played nicely while we chatted and said a lovely goodnight to everyone. Now LJ likes you to lie with him until he falls asleep but normally this is fine because he literally falls asleep within minutes. We have a story, a nice cuddle and he’s gone. He was so tired – he had been rubbing his eyes before going upstairs – but no this night he decided to just lie there WIDE AWAKE!

I tried singing, cuddling, going to the toilet and hoping to come back and find him sleeping, I told him I would just go downstairs if he didn’t sleep soon. He squeezed his eyes so tight in a bid to make himself fall asleep but still he just lay there clutching onto me for dear life. I guess in his mind he believes we stay with him for most of the night when he’s asleep but because there were people downstairs he knew I was going to leave him as soon as he fell asleep.

I could hear everyone chatting and laughing downstairs, ok 5 more minutes, but then I heard them get up the table, plates and cutlery clanging, starting to get annoyed now – I wanted to do a game before we got to the table, another 5 minutes he’s still wide awake and I am getting really angry as I am missing the evening. I tell him I am going down anyway. The water works start. Proper hyper-ventilating crying. My Mum comes up and tells me to just go down but now I am upset and stressed and angry and feel like a terrible Mother, embarrassed to go down and quite frankly by this point my appetite is completely gone.

I do go down in the end as I need to calm down. My Dad comes down and says he’s sleeping already but when my Mum hasn’t reappeared 10 minutes later I know this was just a lie to encourage me to eat!

Back up I go and eventually he falls asleep. I did not hear another peep out of him all night. Grrrrrrrrr!!

Alas, after this trauma the rest of the night was child-free, happy and relaxed. Of course I saw Baby M several times later in the night but the bottle of Prosecco helped me cope with that and now we have another story to share.

The moral of which is don’t plan a night with friends expecting to rely on your usually reliable children. They sense something and always react. Next time I will make sure hubby is there to manage the boys while the girls have fun.

On a positive note it was lovely to see LJ wanting Nana to take him up to bed and read him stories and Baby M dancing away in Grandad’s music room. On a personal note I was very proud of my teachers and pupils in how smooth the exams ran and I got to be judge of a dance contest which showcased some amazing talent plus a successful girly shopping and lunch trip sealed me as a buddy of my best friend’s daughter at last! ;0)

So actually apart from the lack of sleep (well what else is new?!) and the crazy, busy work stuff, on paper, it sounds better than I remember! But next time, just in case, I definitely won’t be organising our visit solely around work. Next trip to Nana’s is going to be for fun, family and friends only! The way it should be.

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x

“She Fought Alone”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

 

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As we embark on our latest trip to the UK I am reminded of my last – not so successful one….

I consider myself pretty independent and a fairly savvy traveller. Living the life of an expat you have to be willing to go a few (thousand) miles every now and then or you wouldn’t see anyone you care about.

I have driven miles and flown alone with a baby numerous times and so far I have been lucky enough to have a very good little traveller to accompany me.

When I was 7.5 months pregnant I took 4 planes in a week. Travelling to London for my dance school exams then to my parents in Norfolk before flying to Paris for a very good friend’s hen-do and back home to Vienna (via London).

Little M took his first plane journey when he was 8 weeks old – he was a star – and he has flown 9 times since (only 1 flight was horrendous!)

I don’t say this to sound like a hero. I’m not. In fact there are many people who consider me crazy. Probably some of you reading this right now, and maybe I am, but that is my life. Always has been. I have always been the one to go the extra mile to visit a friend or family member. I always will. Because when it comes down to it family and friends are all that matter.  And because they have been used to it from an early age I hope my boys will do that too. I would like to think that when they’re old enough they would happily fly to visit their Grandparents on their own and of their own accord and not just because their Mother made them.

So, needless to say, we are a family of travellers. Hire cars, train journeys we have done the lot. And I am grateful that both my boys are (usually) very good (although Max is not keen on the train).

The travelling alone part doesn’t really worry me (although it is like doing a 5 hour work-out!). Now the first journey with both boys by myself is over and done with I feel even less worried. However, this time round, spending 2 weeks with no Papa to help out at night, amidst a teething frenzy, was not my idea of an adventure!

Usually I love being at my parents. Super Nana usually gets roped into breakfast duty by my ever demanding 4 year old, Little M likes his early morning snuggles and play-time with Nana and Grandad and Mama gets to enjoy a lie-in and cup of tea in bed. Usually.

Well, a lot of that did still happen but the nights, oh the nights were rough!! The worst they have been in a long time. And while my Mum tried to help as much as she could, not having hubby there was hard work.

You don’t realise until your sleep partner is missing how much you really work together. It is like a Pas de Deux of the night. Co-ordinated movements, complete understanding, unwavering trust. The perfect partnership in a dance of bottles, rocking and nappy changes in the dark.

Suddenly you are left to improvise alone. You pull it off because you are a professional after all but there’s still that sense of something being missing. Even when you are given an understudy, as wonderful as they are, they can’t compete with the years of training you have shared with someone else. The unspoken unison you share.

It teaches you to appreciate that support even more. I have always known how lucky I am to have a true partner in parenthood. I know not everyone does. Many Dads are happy to let Mum get on with it. After all they “work”. Mamas stay at home doing nothing all day right?! (I’m not going to get into that whole subject right now but for the record stay at home Mums rock!)

If you don’t have that support system I salute you. To any single Mum or Dad out there, I think you are amazing. Because having “fought alone” for those 10 nights (and I wasn’t even truly alone) I don’t know how you do it. Maybe your baby sleeps better than mine (not hard!) and of course the fact he got a new tooth didn’t help matters (for 2 nights afterwards he was pretty good actually) but I personally was very happy to get back to my husband and once more become a duo in the dark.

I am not too proud to admit that while I can do it alone, I hope I never have to. So, I will take the travelling if it means spending time with the people (and business) I love but the best part is seeing my boy run into the arms of his waiting Papa because having someone to come home to is what makes it all worthwhile.

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x

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“Virus”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

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A ‘should be a Monday but it’s not’ Mini Moan:

So the dreaded MMR jab came around all too soon! And in Austria they have it at 10 months instead of 13 months so it seemed to come round really quick.

I have to say so far Baby M has endured all his jabs very well. The first one knocked him out a bit but since then he’s barely even broken a sweat. A bit upset when the needles went in but that’s it. Of course, it’s when they know what to expect things get worse. Fear of the injection being worse than the actual thing most of the time. Getting LJ into a doctor’s room these days is a matter of bribes – even when he’s not there for an injection!

Still, the MMR is a big one and as the pediatrician reminded us he is being injected with a live virus so of course a reaction is likely to occur.

The inoculation period is 10-12 days apparently so we have been watching during this time for anything we can blame on the jab!

All seemed well to start with actually but then day 8 Baby M suddenly developed a fever in the evening. It went by morning and there were no other symptoms at the time but since then he has been a NIGHTMARE!! Whingey by day, not eating properly (definitely not like him), diarrhea and of course sleeping worse than ever.

We’ve had crying and whinging in the night, refusing bottles, not particularly wanting cuddles, lots of wind and if we bring him in with us he just wants to climb or play. And of course despite all this middle of the night partying he’s still wide awake and wanting to get by 6am!

The only thing that has been ok is nap time as he’s obviously so tired, so even though he’s fought it sometimes he has still had his naps.

Day 12 was the worst. By the end of the day I was ripping my hair out.

If this is from the MMR injection I would hate to think what these poor babies go through with the real thing. I hope we never find out.

So the 12 days is up now and I guess we will have to see if things improve. My husband is holding onto the fact that this recent ‘bad behaviour’ is because of the jab. I hope rather than believe it to be true. Whatever it is I do pray it is a phase because whilst sleep deprivation hasn’t yet claimed the life of a parent (Really, I Googled it!) if this continues it may well get one locked up in a mental institute!

Has anyone else had a bad experience after a vaccination? Leave a comment or head over to the Facebook page to join in the chat.

Update: Day 14 and we are much improved. The last 2 nights have been almost back to ‘normal’ which is still not good but certainly better than it was! No doubt he’ll start teething again now…..