As we embark on our latest trip to the UK I am reminded of my last – not so successful one….
I consider myself pretty independent and a fairly savvy traveller. Living the life of an expat you have to be willing to go a few (thousand) miles every now and then or you wouldn’t see anyone you care about.
I have driven miles and flown alone with a baby numerous times and so far I have been lucky enough to have a very good little traveller to accompany me.
When I was 7.5 months pregnant I took 4 planes in a week. Travelling to London for my dance school exams then to my parents in Norfolk before flying to Paris for a very good friend’s hen-do and back home to Vienna (via London).
Little M took his first plane journey when he was 8 weeks old – he was a star – and he has flown 9 times since (only 1 flight was horrendous!)
I don’t say this to sound like a hero. I’m not. In fact there are many people who consider me crazy. Probably some of you reading this right now, and maybe I am, but that is my life. Always has been. I have always been the one to go the extra mile to visit a friend or family member. I always will. Because when it comes down to it family and friends are all that matter. And because they have been used to it from an early age I hope my boys will do that too. I would like to think that when they’re old enough they would happily fly to visit their Grandparents on their own and of their own accord and not just because their Mother made them.
So, needless to say, we are a family of travellers. Hire cars, train journeys we have done the lot. And I am grateful that both my boys are (usually) very good (although Max is not keen on the train).
The travelling alone part doesn’t really worry me (although it is like doing a 5 hour work-out!). Now the first journey with both boys by myself is over and done with I feel even less worried. However, this time round, spending 2 weeks with no Papa to help out at night, amidst a teething frenzy, was not my idea of an adventure!
Usually I love being at my parents. Super Nana usually gets roped into breakfast duty by my ever demanding 4 year old, Little M likes his early morning snuggles and play-time with Nana and Grandad and Mama gets to enjoy a lie-in and cup of tea in bed. Usually.
Well, a lot of that did still happen but the nights, oh the nights were rough!! The worst they have been in a long time. And while my Mum tried to help as much as she could, not having hubby there was hard work.
You don’t realise until your sleep partner is missing how much you really work together. It is like a Pas de Deux of the night. Co-ordinated movements, complete understanding, unwavering trust. The perfect partnership in a dance of bottles, rocking and nappy changes in the dark.
Suddenly you are left to improvise alone. You pull it off because you are a professional after all but there’s still that sense of something being missing. Even when you are given an understudy, as wonderful as they are, they can’t compete with the years of training you have shared with someone else. The unspoken unison you share.
It teaches you to appreciate that support even more. I have always known how lucky I am to have a true partner in parenthood. I know not everyone does. Many Dads are happy to let Mum get on with it. After all they “work”. Mamas stay at home doing nothing all day right?! (I’m not going to get into that whole subject right now but for the record stay at home Mums rock!)
If you don’t have that support system I salute you. To any single Mum or Dad out there, I think you are amazing. Because having “fought alone” for those 10 nights (and I wasn’t even truly alone) I don’t know how you do it. Maybe your baby sleeps better than mine (not hard!) and of course the fact he got a new tooth didn’t help matters (for 2 nights afterwards he was pretty good actually) but I personally was very happy to get back to my husband and once more become a duo in the dark.
I am not too proud to admit that while I can do it alone, I hope I never have to. So, I will take the travelling if it means spending time with the people (and business) I love but the best part is seeing my boy run into the arms of his waiting Papa because having someone to come home to is what makes it all worthwhile.
Sweet Dreams –
Mama Atzi x
