“Rollercoaster”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

 

Once again it has been a while. I know by now there is probably no point apologising but I’m British – it’s what we do – so sorry (again) for my tardiness/laziness/forgetfulness!

Despite my ravings of Marie Kondo and Sarah Knight it seems I have not fully “got my s@&t together” in order to focus on the things that ‘spark joy’ (e.g writing to you lovely people and in particular my 4 faithful subscribers! ;0)

I have actually written something since last posting but as is with life in general, things got in the way, and well Winter turned to Spring and suddenly we are in the middle of the Summer holidays (and actually since then we have fought our way through Autumn and back to Winter! 🙈 ) and I still haven’t actually got around to finishing it. Story of a Mother’s life hey?! Cold coffee anyone….?

So this post was going to be something of a mid-year diary excerpt – catching you up on all (or atleast most) of what has been going on in the world of this exhausted Mama – but now it’s kind of half a catch up and a bit extra lumped on the end to get you up to date!! 

As Ronan Keating once crooned, “Life is a rollercoaster, just got to ride it” and when it comes to my kids (all kids…?!) that is definitely true so hold on tight……

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I think one of the most talked about (aka moaned) “periods” of parenthood is the lack of sleep. People seem to think once they have conquered the holy grail of sleeping through the night that somehow everything else will be like rainbows and unicorns. Well, I’m here to tell you that that theory is a bit like believing having a baby will be the key to improving a failing marriage. 

Adding a baby into the already crumbling mix will of course add a whole lot more love and a common cause but it’s also adding a whole load more of stress and pressure and LACK OF SLEEP which is the quickest way to piss off even the most stable couples. 

Basically no matter what you conquer there is always something waiting in the wings to test you and nowhere is this truer than with children….

So, I think we are sleeping but …..

Little M has been decidedly better with sleeping. The stopping of Kiga naps and longer days have him snoring soundly fairly quickly (lucky Papa who always seems to be the chosen parent on sleep duty!)** To be honest though, despite looking forward to this moment for so long, I was too exhausted to even offer a high 5 and barely noticed it happen because, as is life, there is always a new challenge just waiting to take it’s place……

**Since writing this has drastically changed – Mama is now the “chosen one” and although he is still sleeping mostly through the night he is a nightmare going to bed! We lie there awake over an hour sometimes, we require 2 stories, it has to be in his bed, it can’t be too light or too dark and often he needs foot rubs. 

Yep – this one’s high maintenance what can I say?! 

Illness:

As of first writing; it’s that horrible season where there seems to be colds, chicken pox, flu and tummy bugs galore. 

We are a pretty strong family when it comes to illness and even if we do get sick we usually manage to deal with it quickly and effectively with no need of a doctor visit but even LJ, who is never ill, was knocked out in February with a weird bug (during half term holiday I might add though – ever the courteous child!) so I knew it didn’t bode well. 

And Little M has had an on and off cough for the last 3 months now. It literally feels never-ending. He finally slept through the night dulling us into a 2 night sense of security only to be destroyed by a hacking cough that now seems to only appear at night – usually 10 minutes into us trying to relax. 

We are at the point now the cough is annoying the life out of all involved ….. bring on the Summer please!!**

**UPDATE: Well, it is (was!) now the Summer. The cough has (for the most part subsided) but was still so ongoing and coupled with becoming quickly tired and possible allergic reactions that we are now on inhalers and keeping an eye to see whether in fact we are dealing with asthma. Like I said, knock down one obstacle only to find 2 more waiting behind. 

Injuries:

We had our first scary accident at the beginning of this year (last year now!) too. In his excitement at winning Uno LJ jumped up and knocked a boiling hot cup of coffee over his arm. Thank God for best friends who I had used as my excuse to get him to wear a smart long sleeve polo shirt or the resulting burn would have been a lot worse. I will also use this incident to highly recommend attending a first aid course and feel very grateful to Maria at the Ottakring Samiriterbund because with that knowledge and us all staying calm and treating it straight away we really managed to limit the damage and thankfully the trip to the hospital was very short and sweet. A cooling dressing had him sleeping soundly as always and he had no pain medication. My tough boy! A re-dressed bandage the following day and check up 3 days later showed it was healing well and everyone was happy. 

But uuurrgghhhh – that moment when your child is hurt  – horrendous! A sudden reminder that no matter how much they annoy you or keep you awake at night, it only takes a split second for them to be hurt, or worse, to remind you they are your world, and in that moment all that matters is that they are ok. Plus as Mum you are expected to keep cool and show your child that “everything is going to be alright” – even if you don’t know if that’s true. No wonder we carry around that constant worry! 

Homework:

Oh, the woes of school and homework….. I remember in my final week of Uni, as I slowly and steadily completed my final exams, essays and of course had that 10,000 word dissertation bound, that there was a happy air of relief lifted from my shoulders knowing I would never have to write a paper or sit an exam again (unless I consciously decided to). It was a real life-affirming moment. I didn’t counter into this moment that one day I might have a child who speaks a different language from me and the daily battles we would have to just sit down and look at the work! 

As someone that loves reading, and always did, I didn’t bargain on how hard my child would find this and how this would test my patience beyond anything I knew. Thankfully this frustration phase was much shorter than the non-sleeping phase was but in it’s own way it was just as exhausting. 

During the Summer homework was not compulsory but it is recommended and both the teacher’s pet and good mother in me had LJ doing (a little) bit of work every day. It was a fun battle as you can imagine – Deutsch and Maths workbooks don’t quite compare to sunshine, swimming, trampolines, ice-cream and tv – but the exhausted Mama in me is now mature enough to know that the daily battles now are better than the ultimate war we would have going into the second year of school having done nothing. It’s the slow turtle that wins the race in the end and all that……

**UPDATE: We are now into said 2nd year of school and after week 2 I am already dead so what this would have been like having done no work or prep I literally dread to think….Lesson learnt! Whatever preparation you think is enough next Summer – double it! 

YouTube et al:

We live in a world of streaming now. People and especially children don’t watch “live tv” anymore. You don’t have to set a reminder or recorder each Monday at 8pm to ensure you don’t miss your favourite tv programme. You watch it on catch-up. With Netflix and Amazon Prime you can binge watch your favourite box set in a night. Fancy seeing a film? You can buy or rent it direct from your tv and be sat munching your microwave popcorn within minutes. 

You can pretty much have what you want, when you want it, with a touch of a button and it’s great…until your kids realise that they too can watch or play what they want at the click of a button.

Parent blogs and, well, parents in general talk about “screen time” and it all sounds wonderfully grown up and regulated but in reality – with my kids anyway- it just doesn’t happen! 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I let my kids play on my phone or watch YouTube all day long (well, most days anyway…) all I’m saying is it’s harder to ‘regulate’ sometimes than I would like. And I fully admit that’s probably my fault because giving in for the quiet life is of course easier, albeit lazier, than sucking it up and being the “responsible parent” who simply says no. 

The hardest thing for us is the age gap between our children. LJ is at that video game age. For his 8th birthday he got a Nintendo Switch (like most of his friends already have) and he’s exploring his new found fine motor skills in the imaginative world that MARIO and friends have to offer and he’s full on engrossed in catching Pokémon. Of course, as a result of this, so is Little M who is in awe of his big brother and follows wherever he (unwittingly most of the time) leads. For the most part, it’s ok, but on the other side whilst I have encouraged LJ to play games that help his concentration and problem solving skills (my justification atleast!) I am not overly keen on my 4 year old watching bleary eyed over his shoulder. 

Hearing your youngest child – who let’s face it will always be your baby – cry for YouTube and MaWio (because he can’t pronounce his R’s properly) and by MARIO I mean watching supposed grown ups play whilst talking about playing said Mario game (apparently there’s some kind of living to be made from this – one that no doubt pays waaaay more than mine!) is not easy. 

As the Summer ends we have put stronger rules on this and “gameplay” watching is fully over (and will be furthermore so) but it’s like that red button you know you shouldn’t press when those pretty apps are just there on the home screen asking to be clicked on….. We will be tough this school year!!! 

The only silver lining – no Fortnite yet! Or atleast we managed to bypass the cousins enjoyment of this fairly quickly after visiting them on our Summer hols anyway! The Floss dance move is enough FN for me to deal with right now thank you very much!! 

**UPDATE: We have stayed very strong on the “screen time” especially before bed and YouTube barely gets a look in these days at all and life is definitely better for it. Super Nanny and the “simple life” rules really do work! 

SO WHERE ARE WE NOW…. 

Well, we seem to have blasted through the Summer of 2019. A weird time for me as it was laced with grief from having lost my Nanny in June.  

But we also had a great time in the UK this year visiting the Lake District and going back to my childhood by staying in a holiday park caravan! We ended the hols with a trip up North to see my family – something I am determined to do more of since Grandad died at the beginning of the year and as sad as it was the chance to reconnect with all my cousins at his funeral was really special and reminded me just how important family connections are. 

We had what was truly one of the most beautiful English Summer days in the world on the Cat and Dog beach where we played and swam and read and drank tea and ate chips and ice cream literally from sun up to sun down. Watching my kids play so happily the entire day with a couple of spades, a bucket and stones was just magical and I shed a few tears watching them and remembering those Summer days shared with my brothers and cousins as we holidayed with my Grandparents when we were young. It was one of those moments you wish you could bottle up. It was a perfect family day and proof that children do not need technology to have fun! They had nothing more than children hundreds of years ago would have had and I have never seen them so content and happy! 

Back to the real world and as you can imagine the school and work stresses piled up as ever! To be honest Autumn is an exhaustive blur. Apart from the Glühwein I barely remember what happened between school start and school finish but I know by Christmas I was so ready for a break and so were the boys!! 

It was Austrian Christmas this year which usually means far too many presents since our boys are lucky enough to be visited by Christ Kind and Santa and in all honesty the practically life-sized Godzilla under the tree felt a little much but the boys were happy and for the most part very well behaved. 

I can’t believe I am saying this but my favourite present this year was the cordless hoover we bought with our Christmas money. It’s literally a life saver! Letting us zap round the flat so easily that the place no longer feels like a bull was set free in a jumble sale (I almost forgot the English for that since I am now so used to Austrian Flea Markets!) It is amazing what a difference it makes to one’s mood to have a tidy flat! See Marie Kondo I am feeling the joy!! 

So, on to 2020…. New Year was great this year with my parents and brother coming to visit. The fireworks we normally enjoy watching from our balcony were a bit scarcer than usual – not sure if the “environmental” warnings or the wind put people off but either way it was not quite up to its usual par. Still, our Winter fridge was very much empty by the end of the holidays so we managed to still keep our festive cheer up and toast in the New Year in style. 

Having decided I rely far too much on a glass of wine to relax in the evening and having eaten waaaay too much over the festive period I have decided to take on the dry January challenge this year and am also intent on getting something of a 6 pack back (to be honest a 2 pack would do!) and to be completely frank just to feel a bit more energetic and fit would be nice! 

Age really does catch up with you! I feel like when I hit 38 some switch off that just turned me slower and slower! Everything is more of an effort these days. Our children are finally sleeping but the problem is now I feel so old and tired myself half the time I just go to sleep straight after they do! #Can’tWin 

I have also been really down on things the past year – longer actually. I think that’s been clear from the lags in these posts too and from reading back I can see where things changed. When my Grandad died. Grief really is a horrendous thing. I talked about acceptance in my Sleepless in Schwechat post and a couple since then and for me that’s truly the hardest stage. But as I have learnt from the sleeping scenario it is also the only one that allows you to properly move on. Or better yet to coin the phrase of author Nora McInerny^ to move forward. 

With that strongly in mind, this year’s New Year Resolution is to try and think forwards more than backwards. To be more positive and as a result I hope also happier. To try to stop worrying about the things I can’t control (or atleast not let them get me down so much) and instead enjoy the ones I can and better yet the ones I can create for me and my family. 

Because it feels like the blink of an eye between me and my brothers playing on that beach and watching my own little boys playing there. It’s a cliche but time really does go so fast and it would be real waste not to enjoy it! 

Sweet dreams –

Mama Atzi x 

ps We are on to day 3 of Mama’s no alcohol, get fit and energised mission and I can honestly say I have not felt this tired since Little M’s worst not sleeping nights…. the only way is up right?!!! 

 

 

^Nora McInerny –  Blogger of “My Husband’s Tumor” and author of “It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too)”, “No Happy Endings” and “Hot Young Widows Club”. She is also the host of a podcast called “Terrible, Thanks for Asking”.

If, like me, you have struggled with grief this woman knows all about it. www.noramcinerny.com

“The Sum of All Fears”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

I am very aware I have been quiet for a while. It is not because I haven’t had anything to say. Quite the opposite in fact – I have had too much. Words and thoughts, too many thoughts, have been swimming around my head since the referendum result (of which I am still in shock over!) and to be honest I was too scared to write what I really felt. After all this is supposed to be a tired Mama’s blog, certainly nothing politically based.

Having a child that wakes constantly though meant I saw the result coming at 1am and pretty much done by 4am.  Yes, I am blaming the baby on my peaking Political interests! By 7am when I dared to post on Facebook I was reeling and I have been through so many emotions since the final result was made official, which as you know for me was not the one I wanted, that it is hard to know where I finally settled. Shock, sadness, anger, fear, embarrassment and just a general feeling of uncertainty which I guess is the only one that can really play true right now. In the end the result, for good or bad, for right or wrong, has been made and as David Cameron said in his resignation speech ‘it must be respected’. But in truth it’s taken me until now to really be able to say those words and I believe I will continue to feel more proud of being part of the 63% Merton voters that chose ‘Remain’ than I will ever feel about being part of the 48% that may, in time, be proved wrong.

So instead of voicing my true opinions, I have moaned and groaned to my husband, had a little cry, worried about the future for myself and my family and friends (especially those living abroad or those that are from the EU living in the UK) and grieved for my loved ones who may never get to experience the great joy and love that I have thanks to the freedom of movement act and I have tried, for once, to concentrate on the here and now and just enjoy my beautiful children who, thankfully, get to have the best of both worlds – remain European through my Austrian husband whilst still being a proud Englander in a new, bolder Britain (she said hopefully!).

So, yes, the result has affected me but 3 paragraphs is enough on that and quite frankly after everything else that has happened since, 3 paragraphs is probably too much.

After the terrible shootings last November, I am so grateful that France survived the European Championships and never have I been so happy of a Brit win than the moment Andy Murray, so deservedly, lifted that second Wimbledon trophy. Despite the utter crapness of Portugal, possibly one of the worst teams in the whole competition, winning the Euros there was a feeling of unity, happiness, triumph and hope once more. An excitement that only sport can create and one that should never be belittled because whilst it is ‘just a game’ it brings people together and gives them something good to believe in. Something that has nothing to do with race or religion – whatever certain thugs would have us believe.

Little did I know that this was the calm before the storm and that soon after the bombs, shootings and military coups would follow.

And then, as we woke up to celebrate my husband’s 35th birthday, the most awful news of all: a mad man ploughing down 84 people as they enjoyed the Bastille Day celebrations in the beautiful city of Nice, somewhere I have visited many times. Another sickening reminder that life will never be the same again.

So, yes, I have been quiet recently because quite frankly trying to write blogs about my annoying children doesn’t seem quite right when all I want to do is hold them close to me and never let them go again. Moaning about how many times Little M woke me up last night pales into insignificance when the number 10 flashes before your eyes because that’s how many children lost their lives in Nice.

I have a computer full of unfinished stories. Silly stories, about how my children exhaust me, annoy me and sometimes down right disgust me but right now I am only grateful that they are still with me to do all those things. I moan and groan and write silly things at their expense but the truth is they inspire me every day. They are my whole world and I would be lost without them. My babies make me whole and without them I simply wouldn’t be me. I am a Mama and always will be and how you cope being a Mother without a child I just don’t know. How you cope being the Mother of a child that deliberately drives a lorry into innocent people with the intention of killing them I can not even begin to fathom.

Waking up to the horrendous news of the tragedy in Nice has made me ache. 84 dead – including 10 children. For what? For kicks? For thrills? To make some bold statement? It is just disgusting, insane behaviour of sick, vile, murderers hiding behind masks and labels and pretending they are doing this for some greater good. But the real culprits are too cowardly to do it themselves so they take easily manipulated individuals. They cast their spell, brainwash these people and they attack. Innocent people. Always innocent people. What had any of those normal, happy families ever done to deserve that?

The teacher on a trip with her pupils? Brodie, the 11 year old boy and his Dad Sean, from Texas traveling Europe on his Summer break? The 12 year old son of a Nice referee who’s twin sister still lies in a coma? The 4 year old and his Mum? Yannis, the 4 year old who loved the beach? Christophe Lion, who has to live with the fact he is the only one of a family of 7 to survive? The 27 year old man who pushed his 7 month pregnant wife out of the way?

What did any of them do????

I can not imagine the pain these families are going through. Selfishly I hope I never have to. But the truth is this isn’t some game or tv show. This isn’t 24 or Spooks or some big Hollywood movie, these are real people and this is real life. This is really happening and it is terrifying.

I want my children to experience the excitement and joy of travel that I did. I want them to be able to go out into the world and meet new people. To fall in love, embark on adventures and try everything they can. But I also want them to come safely home again and honestly, right now, I am scared to let them go. I wonder what my Mum would have said or done if the world was in this state the day I came home and said ‘I got the job. I am leaving on a cruise ship in 4 weeks’.

I was in Syria nearly every weekend for 7 months. I have docked in Nice and Istanbul. We walked past destroyed buildings on our way to Hard Rock Cafe in Lebanon, Beirut where the toilet door had a sign that said ‘No nuclear weapons’ and where McDonalds next door had armed guards. I never felt a flicker of fear the whole time I was there but the thought of sending my child out into this world alone now terrifies me.

And now, literally as I write this there is breaking news of shootings in Munich. Atleast 7 dead and more injured in some awful revenge scheme in retaliation to the ‘shit foreigners’ it is reported. It feels like a world war is beginning. I guess it did a long while ago. When our supposedly knowledgable leaders invited themselves into a war that should never have belonged to them.

But whatever label you want to put on it – terrorism, xenophobia, murder – unarmed, unknowing people are innocent people wherever they come from and suddenly it seems no-one and nowhere is safe anymore.

No, we can’t not go on holiday to Turkey or not take our kids to Disneyland Paris or not watch a match at Wembley because of these monsters. We can not live our lives in fear but we wouldn’t be human if it didn’t make us stop and question our plans and actions, atleast a little. Especially as a parent.

In time, life will go on as normal for us. After Nice and before these recent attacks we were allready back to posting about our happy days on Facebook, laughing at people chasing Pokemons down the street, looking forward to the Olympics gearing up in Rio. Already newspapers, with this hideous story of Nice and the military uprisings in Turkey that are threatening to destroy the tourist industry in what is actually a peaceful and beautiful part of the world and for the most part no where near where these issues are occurring, are being used for fish and chips and wrapping up valuables for people moving.

Once these madmen in Munich are caught or more likely killed most of us will move on from this ‘story’ too.

In time, we will just remember 14/7/16 as one of those awful moments in history like 9/11 and 7/7 and we will pause and have a minute or 2 of silence.

But for the families affected by all of these things life has been changed forever. In time, things may move on, may even get better but they will never be the same again. A part of them will be forever missing.

And our world has also changed forever. Terrorism is no longer just part of those tv shows I mentioned. It is a reality.

And because that could just as easily have been us celebrating in Nice or shopping and eating a McDonalds in Munich I for one am finding it harder and harder to just move on.

I will forgive, because we can not give into the hate they so badly crave. I will hope, because above all else this is something they can never take from us. But I will never forget and I will never let them win.

So please. Enjoy your Facebook statuses. Share in my moans and groans and sympathise with me when I tell you I am still not sleeping. Chase your Pokemons. Laugh at silly You Tube videos. Post crazy Snap Chat photos. Eat. Pray (if you want to). Love. Live your life to the fullest. But whatever you do never take anything for granted. Never forget. Never give up. And never blame the majority for the sickening actions of a minority. #EveryLifeMatters

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x

 

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“Terrorism must be outlawed by all civilized nations — not explained or rationalized, but fought and eradicated. Nothing can, nothing will justify the murder of innocent people and helpless children.”

ELIE WIESEL, Nobel Lecture, December 11, 1986

 

References:

Reported information and statistics www.theguardian.com

Current Munich news as reported live on Austrian tv channel ORF 1

“24”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

in or out

What a week of whinging and whining it has been and not just from my teething 1 year old! I spent the last 2 weekends working in the UK and the madness that has grown from one week to the next in regard of the referendum (taking place as we speak!) has been horrendous.

For me, having already cast my overseas vote by post 2 weeks ago, I could breathe a sigh of relief (sort of) and step back to watch the battle from the sidelines but for those that had not yet decided I can only imagine the confusion being dredged up.

The absolute bitterness that has been evoked in some people is shocking and regardless of the outcome tomorrow morning I think Britain has a lot of rethinking to do – whether independently or as part of the EU.

The lies that have been broadcast in relation to “Brexit” are actually ridiculous and the worst part is that people believe them. It worries me that some people are so uninformed and take certain statements as gospel, without further investigation. Not only that but these same people are making noise about something they do not even have the facts over. Trusting tweets and Facebook statements or a single headline in The Express without reading the full story or looking into other accounts to me is unfathomable and yet these people are going to vote today (well, if they actually had the sense to register and put actions to their words) and help change our country forever.

I think most shocking of all has been the way the sickening death of MP Jo Cox has been used, ironically by both sides of the fence, to gain support or knock down others. Whilst she was an avid fighter for the Remain group she was much more than that and though she would perhaps be happy if her death led to others researching her work and voting the same, or opposite, because they have been rightly convinced either way, I don’t believe someone that felt as strongly about politics as she did would want people to vote her way ‘just for the sake of it’.

More importantly though she was a Mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter and in her final moments I imagine she saw only the faces of her beautiful children and her husband with whom she shared them. When this madman chose to take away this beautiful person (inside and out from all accounts) I very much doubt her mind was on the upcoming referendum and I think it is an additional tragedy that her final memory was used in such a way.

Yes, it is a scary time. One of unease and uncertainty. Even if we get the result we want no-one really knows for sure what the future holds and we will never know which was the better option because, for right or wrong, the result tomorrow is definitive and can only go one way. There is no going back. We have to move forward. I just hope however we do it we can do it together. I hope this obvious split between us does not fester and cause more hate and fear because we all know who’s hands we are feeding into then and that is a slippery slope. We already live in a world where terrorists are a reality and not just the thrilling storyline on ’24’. We can not give them any ammunition. Whatever the outcome we have to stand together for a Better Britain, a more peaceful world and be strong.

I am by no means a political expert. I read arguments from both sides, researched statistics, considered the opinions of those I know who are more worldly and intelligent than myself and eventually voted based on my own personal experiences and gut instinct.

It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to hear I voted to REMAIN. I enjoy the simplicity the EU allows when it comes to living and working between my home country and that of my husband. My children are half English, half Austrian and I am happy they can enjoy growing up in a world where their 2 homes are all part of a greater union. I am still proud to be British and I don’t believe this needs to change because we are not ‘completely independent’. In this world of uncertainty I think it is important to have friends. I am not going to go into more details. I certainly don’t want to bias anyone or inflict my opinion on you. This referendum is about everyone in the UK speaking up for themselves and what they believe in. I only hope, whatever you vote, you back your belief up with information from a variety of sources and not just what you have had thrown in your face on social media.

For me it is important to remember migration works both ways so I have voted, not so much for me, but for my children. I want them to grow up in a world where they are free to make their own choices, where travelling around Europe and learning about other cultures is easily accessible. I want my children to be able to fall in love with whoever they choose and to do so without prejudice. I want my children to embrace their neighbours and to be the kind of people that, wherever they go, they will work hard and contribute to the society that has homed them.

I actually have yet to meet a single person who wants to leave, including strangers I have talked to on the plane or in a cafe, but remain or leave I believe there are many people who still share the hardworking values that actually made Britain great in the first place.

A lot of those people are from the EU. Hardworking, lovely people who have done more to contribute to our society than many who were lucky enough to be born in the UK.

I believe in educating my children to be proud of where they come from without taking anything for granted and being accepting and tolerant of others – wherever they come from. I believe in fighting for my country and not blaming others for our supposed downfall.

In less than 24 hours time we will have an answer but IN or OUT my values will not change. I hope for others they do.

 

Sweet Dreams

Mama Atzi x

“The Holiday”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

For a family of seasoned travellers we don’t seem to have much luck when we go away and this, much awaited vacation, was no exception….

IMG_4950

My husband and I met working on ships and so were lucky enough to get to see some of the world together. Even if it wasn’t exactly a holiday – well for him anyway as he had a “proper job” onboard – we did see some amazing places together: India, South Africa, Namibia, The Norwegian Fjords, Iceland, The Seychelles amongst others and the times we had and the memories we made there were fantastic. But a few hours here and there are not the same as a proper holiday somewhere. When you work on a ship there is always a time pressure. If you are not back on board by your curfew you get a warning, if you drink too much and get caught you get a warning, you bring something on or off that you shouldn’t, you get a warning. 3 warnings and you’re off. So whilst it is amazing your time is still not fully your own, to do with it how you please.

And when you finally settle down on land with someone from another country you inevitably spend your holidays in the home-land of your other half. For the 5 years we lived in London most holidays were spent in Austria or visiting my family in Norfolk. We only went to another country once in all that time and that was due to a wedding.

Once we moved to Austria then holiday was reserved for England. So this trip This ‘proper holiday’ where you stay in a hotel where the sheets and towels are cleaned for you and all you have to worry about all day is whether to lie by the pool or the beach. Where all your drinks and food are just there waiting for you and you don’t even have to wash up afterwards. Well, this was very much what we have needed. To put it in perspective we haven’t even ever had a honeymoon so I think it is fair to say we deserved this holiday. But of course, when you have kids, anything goes….

The night before we flew to Turkey (yes, we went to Turkey and before you ask no we weren’t worried and yes we felt safe the whole time) I went on a rare night out with the ladies. I knew it wasn’t going to be my night the second I saw the missed call from my husband, who never phones me when I am on a night out. After a few calls and texts it becomes clear I need to get home quickly and when I do there are both boys wide awake and in bed with my husband because poor LJ has been sick everywhere, several times. We manage to get LJ to sleep finally but Little M is wild and running all over the place while I finish getting sorted for the holiday. By the time we get him to bed we have about 2 hours before the taxi is arriving!

We get to the airport, drama free, and then at security poor LJ is sick again – all over the floor! By this point I am also not feeling too good and soon after leg it to the toilet myself. A bug seems to have hit us. Little M has at this point also been suffering from conjunctivitis for a few days prior to the trip and isn’t 100% either so when the ‘Delayed’ sign flashes up on the screen it’s really not boding well. It’s the first flight of the day – how can it possibly be delayed already?! 

Somehow we board and depart on time. Hooray! LJ sleeps and all seems a bit better (once I have visited the toilet one more time!) and then, just as I have given Little M milk and am trying to lull him into a nap, he also projectiles all over himself and me and of course in the drama of the night before I have no spare clothes for him.

We arrive at the resort tired and covered in dry sick but the resort is beautiful and the sun is shining (I have surpassed myself on finding this place!) and all seems well again – until Stefan’s tummy also starts to feel a bit dodgy. By this point I think the holiday is doomed but somehow we all seem to be back on track after an afternoon nap and our first of 7 amazing dinners.

The weather was great for the first 2 days and then came my birthday. Actually I have no complaints. The weather forecast said rain all day but infact the morning was gorgeous and when it did rain, in the late afternoon, Little M was asleep in his pushchair, me and Lukas were snuggled and playing on the comfy sofas by the pool and the guys were at the bar in prime position to keep bringing me spritzers whilst making friends with the nicest bar man at the hotel (something that always comes in handy!) Back in the room I had a lovely cake waiting with Happy Birthday iced on the plate and I definitely made the most of the all inclusive bar that night. Everything was looking up so of course….

The next day we discover what looks like an allergic reaction on the baby. The spots came on and off for the rest of the holiday and a couple since we were back (although now nothing since). We thought it was the milk so went out for Aptamil but it wasn’t. Maybe something in the food but he really didn’t have anything he hasn’t had before. Our only real thought was the detergent or some kind of bug from either the beach or the beds. We still don’t know. Thank fully it didn’t seem to affect him and because of LJ’s allergies we always have piriton on us just incase. The plus side – nap time was great!

Thursday saw a full day of rain which was pretty gutting but luckily we had ship friends now living in Fethiye to meet up with so it didn’t dampen the mood and our last day was great. So despite it all we really did have the holiday we had hoped for. A shame that stupid tummy bugs didn’t give it the best start but when it comes to children, especially when they are in Kindergarten, unfortunately these things come to try you more often than you would like and usually at the worst possible times. Sod’s Law.

The moral of the story is it doesn’t actually matter what happens on holiday the important thing is that you make the time to go. Being away from home and work and real-life and getting to spend some quality time with our family was just amazing. Illness, bad weather, allergic reactions, whatever, it’s still better when you’re away from the real-world in a sunny climate full of happy, friendly people who are all there for the same reason – to relax and enjoy themselves.

I thought I would be really depressed once I got back home and I suppose for the first week I was suffering a bit of the post-holiday blues but actually now the sun is starting to shine here too, work has been great (if a little stressful at times!) and I feel inspired again for the first time in a long while. For me traveling the world has always been top of my list. Now I am a Mama it has to come a little lower but knowing we can do both and have an amazing time despite illnesses, bad weather and allergies makes the future all that little bit more exciting.

So bring on the next one…….

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x

(We stayed at the all-inclusive Jiva Beach Resort, Fetiye, Turkey. Package holiday with Tui (Thomson Holidays) and we would thoroughly recommend it).

“Girl, Interrupted”

Mama Atzi / / No Comments

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So firstly folks I do apologise for the delay in posting. As you know we recently made another trip home to the UK to see my family. I had hoped this one might be a little more successful than the last but I think it might have been even worse!! Of course it was wonderful catching up with friends and family as always and the trip certainly started well.

The boys were both good as gold on the flight over and the first weekend was spent celebrating Baby M’s Christening which was really lovely.

We did get some lovely days in – visiting friends, play dates, a trip to the beach, the Sealife centre and Monsters Soft play – but the following weekends were spent working for me and were pretty intense with cover teaching and dance school exams in London. Meanwhile both boys seemed to get hit with a tummy bug and Baby M decided this was a good time to get another tooth which is never fun! Sleep wise Baby M napped pretty well and on schedule if not always for really long and was also good going to bed but throughout the night he was pretty atrocious. I guess with hindsight we can put it down to that big top tooth coming through but once again it was not fun to be dealing with him alone. Especially with LJ waking up from bad dreams and also wanting to come into bed with me, something he hasn’t done for a long time.

But that is something I am once again learning about babies and now big brothers. That they just have a sixth sense about things. They know when your mind is on something else (i.e the big dance exam session you have coming up) and they know when something is going on that requires your attention to be more on the baby than the big bro.

The most apt example of this being when we tried to arrange a repeat of the fantastic naming party we had with the girls before Baby M was born (I had obviously forgotten that LJ stayed in Vienna with his Papa and Baby M was not yet a wonderful disruption on our hearts).

It went something like this……

I don’t get much time to myself. To just be me, rather than a Mother or Wife, so when I get the opportunity to spend time with friends, without children, it is special. Just for a little while it is nice, and important, to just to be Katy instead of Mama or Mrs Atzi.

And I feel very lucky to have a wonderful group of friends who I grew up with in one way or another and who are still my friends 30 years later. We have shared school, pantomimes, dance classes, Brownies, swim lessons, Sunday school, trips abroad, caravan holidays, injuries and illnesses, weddings, house warmings, birthdays and babies and every so often when I am back at my Mum’s we try to get together. Either a meal out or at someone’s house.

This particular nights was one of those get togethers. We had planned a Girls Night In at my Mums with food, drinks (a bit of Prosecco) and some games – silly quizzes and the like.

Baby M and LJ had been no bother going to bed for the last week at my Mums or in fact for the last month or longer at home but of course on the one night that we need them to play ball and go to sleep at their normal time it all goes wrong!

First Baby M had a later than usual afternoon nap, despite being exhausted at his usual time he fought it tooth and nail, eventually falling asleep in the car on the way home. Needless to say this meant he wasn’t quite so sleepy in the evening but he was still ready for bed at 7.15pm so all seemed on track still. Then, out of no-where, he pukes up his entire bottle of milk! All over himself and all over me and my nice outfit ready for the evening. Luckily he still was sleepy enough to go off but by now we are 50 minutes behind schedule.

Next comes LJ. My golden boy. He had welcomed all the girls, played nicely while we chatted and said a lovely goodnight to everyone. Now LJ likes you to lie with him until he falls asleep but normally this is fine because he literally falls asleep within minutes. We have a story, a nice cuddle and he’s gone. He was so tired – he had been rubbing his eyes before going upstairs – but no this night he decided to just lie there WIDE AWAKE!

I tried singing, cuddling, going to the toilet and hoping to come back and find him sleeping, I told him I would just go downstairs if he didn’t sleep soon. He squeezed his eyes so tight in a bid to make himself fall asleep but still he just lay there clutching onto me for dear life. I guess in his mind he believes we stay with him for most of the night when he’s asleep but because there were people downstairs he knew I was going to leave him as soon as he fell asleep.

I could hear everyone chatting and laughing downstairs, ok 5 more minutes, but then I heard them get up the table, plates and cutlery clanging, starting to get annoyed now – I wanted to do a game before we got to the table, another 5 minutes he’s still wide awake and I am getting really angry as I am missing the evening. I tell him I am going down anyway. The water works start. Proper hyper-ventilating crying. My Mum comes up and tells me to just go down but now I am upset and stressed and angry and feel like a terrible Mother, embarrassed to go down and quite frankly by this point my appetite is completely gone.

I do go down in the end as I need to calm down. My Dad comes down and says he’s sleeping already but when my Mum hasn’t reappeared 10 minutes later I know this was just a lie to encourage me to eat!

Back up I go and eventually he falls asleep. I did not hear another peep out of him all night. Grrrrrrrrr!!

Alas, after this trauma the rest of the night was child-free, happy and relaxed. Of course I saw Baby M several times later in the night but the bottle of Prosecco helped me cope with that and now we have another story to share.

The moral of which is don’t plan a night with friends expecting to rely on your usually reliable children. They sense something and always react. Next time I will make sure hubby is there to manage the boys while the girls have fun.

On a positive note it was lovely to see LJ wanting Nana to take him up to bed and read him stories and Baby M dancing away in Grandad’s music room. On a personal note I was very proud of my teachers and pupils in how smooth the exams ran and I got to be judge of a dance contest which showcased some amazing talent plus a successful girly shopping and lunch trip sealed me as a buddy of my best friend’s daughter at last! ;0)

So actually apart from the lack of sleep (well what else is new?!) and the crazy, busy work stuff, on paper, it sounds better than I remember! But next time, just in case, I definitely won’t be organising our visit solely around work. Next trip to Nana’s is going to be for fun, family and friends only! The way it should be.

Sweet Dreams –

Mama Atzi x